I’m Back!…kinda

I haven’t blogged on this website in nearly one year and while I recognize that allowing that much time to pass between posts creates an irrelevancy that happens after one month on the internet, I was still blogging, in other places and living my life.  I posted a blog more than two years ago at beginning of my weight loss journey.  I added a few more posts along the way, some funny, some sexy or serious, and others enlightened.

Well, my next post is going to be funny, but it is definitely an update to the weight loss mission that I have been on.  I am proud of myself, but I have realized that losing the weight is only the beginning.  I must now continue to live and remember my new script, I must make choices that are healthy for my body and avoid turning to food for comfort.  I am also learning that it is a good idea to share with others because I am not the only one going through something like this and encouraging one another is a great way to support/continue this healthy lifestyle. For all who have finished and met their goals, congratulations; for all who are beginning or somewhere in the middle of their journey, let’s keep moving forward.

Blessings 🙂

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Coming To Terms With My Own Fallacies

I’ve always been the smart girl in the group.  Everyone knows that in most groups of people you will have different types that fall into a category or two and end up being defined by that.  You may have the artsy one, the cute one, the tall one, the fat one, or like me the smart one.  I have taken pride in my intelligence and I even proudly own the term bookworm.  However, my paradigm is shifting as I fight my bad habits of soothing my emotions by eating and realize how much I have had to push to achieve my now 60 pound weight loss.

I used to believe that people who were in shape or healthy or athletic were somehow shallow and self absorbed.  I used to attribute their beautiful, healthy bodies to good genes or enough money to workout all day and therefore belonged to group that would never include me.  I used to believe that some people were just meant to be fat or big boned or plump.  The longer that I look at my changing body and look toward my goal of losing another 40-50 pounds (maybe more) I realize that not only will I belong to that group of people, it forces me to come to terms with my own devastatingly flawed thinking.

I must now admit that the people who I looked at with awe because of their flawless looking figures are usually VERY hard working, intelligent people.  They usually understand sacrifice and selflessness more than most people who spend their days eating doughnuts and drinking sodas.  While there are shallow people in every demographic that can possibly be defined, people who spend time pre-preparing healthy, clean meals and pushing their bodies past the limit to strengthen it should not be thrown into that category willy-nilly.  I have had to admit that my thought process was in fact prejudiced, ignorant and frankly, based on jealousy.  Getting in shape requires something that most Americans do not understand, sacrifice.  Staying in shape requires something that even fewer people execute on, that thing called follow through or consistency.  Feeding your body properly, bringing your temptations under control and challenging your own limitations in order to reach a goal is how you build character.  Anyone can simply eat whatever is convenient or what is put in front of you, it requires effort to make sure that what you are consuming is beneficial and lines up with your personal objectives.

This post may not be as sexy as the previous, but I had to write it because it speaks to me.  So, I will continue waking up at 5:45am to do a workout in my living room before my four children wake up.  I will continue to avoid making excuses when I don’t feel up to it or realize that I may be taking on feats beyond what I can handle because I am a single mother.  I will continue to consistently push toward my goal by prepping my meals ahead of time and even when the scale doesn’t move or goes up a couple of pounds I will be relentless in my pursuit knowing that at the end of the day, hard work always pays off.  I will do this because I want to teach my children to believe in themselves but more than that, I want me to believe in me.

Testing Out My Man Goggles

“A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change but a woman marries a man expecting he will.” — Author Unknown

We often hear the cliché, “men are visual creatures” and while men who say it understand, I’m not sure that women do.  I am not a man, nor will I claim to understand everything about them, but I believe that I am growing to understand more about them and some of my best teachers are my six and four year old sons.

As a single mother of four, I am frequently tired although I have found more ways to take care of myself including losing 60 pounds in the last 18 months.  During this time, I have noticed that my boys react to me in different ways depending upon how I look.  Initially, I brushed it off, but eventually I had to investigate further.  What I have realized is that many, if not most, men quite literally interpret everything in their world through their visual cortex.  I highlight this in comparison to a woman’s tendency to process her world through her relationships with others.  What I am realizing, a bit late mind you, is the effect that a woman’s changing look can have on her relationships with the men in her life, specifically the one with whom she is romantically involved.

I am considering the point of a reasonable man who is intelligent enough to understand that a woman’s body will change if she has carried and birthed children.  Also, a man who would understand if his lady has a chronic illness or there are circumstances beyond her control that has changed the way that she looks.  Aside from these natural changes or unpreventable circumstances, many women simply give up or fail to recognize what their 30+ pound weight gain can do to their relationship.  To draw a parallel that almost anyone can understand, I will compare it to a man who has given up on his attempts to further his career or provide for his family and who slowly allows his job performance to slip and eventually gets fired or laid off.  I have personally dealt with such a man in a relationship and it is no less than a complete let down and can easily be a deal breaker.  If my premise is correct, a man who must watch his girlfriend or wife gain weight for no other reason than pure apathy, why is it not the same?

Why is a woman who leaves a shiftless man applauded as being strong, but if a man leaves his woman because she stopped making an effort and gained weight for no clinical reason, he’s an asshole?

I would assert that he is not, and it is for this reason that I now view the chocolate brownies, doughnuts and cupcakes, and fried things that seem to hover in my world constantly through a completely different lens.  While I would encourage that people live their lives and have the occasional treat (1-2 times per month), I would say that it is time for people living in this age of entitlement to grow up and look the truth in the face.  Can and should are completely different things; just because you can eat something does not mean that you should.  When I am faced with a decision about what to eat or whether or not I should wake up at 5:45am to exercise, I remember what my goals are.  Yes, I want to be healthy and feel good and all of those great things.  However, what I have to admit to myself is that at the end of all of this exercise and clean eating, I want one thing.  I want to make the man who I select to be in a long-term, sexually-active relationship with absolutely crazy when I stand before him naked.  😉