My diet secret…revealed!

Okay, so I stepped on the scale this morning and being another pound down I have hit the 20% mark.  I am proud to say that I’ve lost that much of my body weight and I am ready to reveal my diet plan.  The first 10% or so came off through clean eating (little to no sugar or processed foods, whole wheat everything, fruits and vegetables, etc.).  This second half though can only be credited to what I’m going to call the active kid diet.  With my sights set on losing another 20%, the active kid diet is in full swing…allow me to describe.

  1. While doing the active kid diet, you need no less than two very small children in your bed to head butt, kick you or cry in the middle of the night.  If you cannot find said children, feel free to substitute with a kitten, puppy or alarm clock that will wake you at least twice.  Without this, you may have trouble craving the caffeine needed for the diet.
  2. After getting 5 hours of segmented sleep, you should get up and break up a nearly violent kid argument about who is which wiggle, doodlebop, imagination mover or some other such nonsense.
  3. Fix breakfast and feed it to someone else.  Once you’re done feeding them, fix something for yourself but before you sit down to eat, break up another argument or stop someone from jumping from a high place and injuring themselves.  Return to your breakfast to find that another child has knocked half of it off the plate/out of the bowl.  Clean that mess up then eat.  See! You’ve saved half the calories you were about to consume.
  4. You should follow the same steps for lunch and dinner, however one of those meals you should skip and simply eat whatever is left from plates that you fixed for others that still looks palatable.  You will easily save on your calorie intake.
  5. At some point during the day, you must chase a child/dog/cat or imaginary fly in several different directions to get the fork/pen/sharp object from them while they giggle and run.  Burning more calories…
  6. Don’t forget to drink your caffeine and water throughout the day!
  7. Last, but not least, go to be thinking of some dinner or dessert that you would have liked to eat but are too tired to make/reheat.  Grab a piece of fruit, glass of water then snuggle between those two kids/dogs/cats/alarm clocks and wait for it to begin again!
Happy dieting! 🙂

3 thoughts on “My diet secret…revealed!

  1. After laughing so hard I got a catch in my side, doubled over in laughter pain, and wiping tears from my eyes…I explained to my children that I am “okay”. Now, I can testify: I have been on this diet plan and it works!!!

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