This is NOT what I planned…

I know that I’m not the only person who feels this way.  I know that there is something in your life that has not turned out the way you thought it would.  There are things that have happened that you wouldn’t change for the world because it was so blessed that you could not have planned it.  There are also things that you would attempt to change until you realized that changing them would make you less wise and even though the experience is not something that you would repeat, it has shaped you into the person you are today. 

This is not a complaint blog, it is not a pity party blog, yet I am writing it for selfish reasons.    I am dealing with things in my life that I certainly didn’t expect or plan, however I know myself well enough to know that I am more than a survivor, I am a fighter. 

I’ve always been the person to “keep on keeping on”.  I know what to do when “the going gets tough”.  I also understand that “If” I can meet with triumph and disaster and treat them the same, I will be the best me that I can be.  However, in this moment, before I put on my brave face and stare down my choices (both good and bad) I am angry, scared, frustrated and unafraid to feel those things.  I have figured out that we all make choices that we may or may not regret later and that no one truly “has their act together” in this life.  We all have questions, challenges, and struggles.  We feel afraid, alone, and anxious.  We worry about our kids, our parents, ourselves and more.  If we allow ourselves, we can all turn into sniveling, weak, passive panty-waists, but for those of us who refuse to lose, there is more waiting on the other side of this summit. 

There is the success that we taste and feel with our every breath, our every movement.  There is the realization of protracted plans from so long ago.  There is the opportunity to do what we dared not dream but always hoped for, to be a success in our own right. 

I must give credit to Michael Berry for inspiring this blog with the quote below.

“Those that succeed are those who refuse to fail” 

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2 thoughts on “This is NOT what I planned…

    • Thank you for the encouragement. I suppose part of why I wrote it is because I know that EVERY experience has the potential to transform me into a better person, no matter what it looks like on the outside.

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