Claire Huxtable

The Cosby Show

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I suppose “The Cosby Show” was to me what “Leave it to Beaver” was to many others, my ideal world.  Two married, loving, successful parents, five mostly well adjusted children with very common growing pains, heck my own mother, the beautiful lawyer, has even been mistaken for Phylicia Rashad while walking through the airport, why shouldn’t I wish I had a Cosby marriage and family?

So, now I’m married with 4 and 1/2 kids (my 10 year old stepson is 1/2 mine!) and wishing that I lived in the Huxtable house.  I have a full-time job (which ends up being more than 40 hrs per week) a 5 year old, 3 year old, and 9 month old twins at home, a growing small business (Rapha Photography), too much weight on my body and I’m getting too little sleep at night.  I’m not a lawyer, my husband is not a doctor, and our house feels like the Ringling Bros. live here.  How then, are we supposed to be the 21st century Cleavers/Huxtables…by taking the examples that we were given.  Most of us simply laugh at the punchlines and at the end of the half hour simply wish that our lives could somehow be wrapped up so neatly in 22 minutes with commercial breaks inserted.  We must start examining what is really being communicated to the studio audience, it is…the art of communication. 

 Did you ever notice that neither Claire nor June told off Cliff or Ward?  Did you ever notice that neither woman made sure her husband knew that she was right and pounded his will into the pavement?  Did you ever notice that above all things, she (the respective wives) showed their husbands respect? 

Did you also notice that no matter how frustrated the husbands became, they were loving to their wives?  Did you notice how they deferred to her sound judgement because she made sure to show him that she respected his?  Did you notice how they would instruct their children to act lovingly toward their mothers? 

I believe that marriages, relationships and families struggle because we have forgotten how to communicate with each other.  I believe that we have forgotten how to treat each other with love and respect, therefore our words are filled with anything but.  As I reflect on my husband and my marriage and how much like Claire Huxtable I’ve always wanted to be (including my current plans to enroll in law school in the fall), I must constantly remember that she projected with her attitude and her words how lovingly others should treat her.


4 thoughts on “Claire Huxtable

  1. I have recently found your blog and appreciate and agree with many of your observations. I must take exception to a point you expressed in your latest posting.
    You stated, in speaking about your family, that you have 4.5 kids, with your stepson being “half” yours. While I encourage your acceptance of a child from your husbands previous relationship, and without taking into account the circumstances of the childs custody, I feel that “claiming half” of him does him a disservice.
    Being an adopted child who is the product of a broken (adoptive) home, I have a “sense” of not fully belonging to my adoptive family, although I felt wanted growing up. Other adoptees I have spoken with have expressed the same feelings, so while not a scientific study, I feel there is always that itch in the mind of abandonment. Being the child of divorce, most kids feel as if they have had some influence as the cause of the divorce. These feelings combined can damage the self esteem of a child greatly.
    Please don’t refer to your stepson as your half child- state your acceptance of him as fully as your love for him. Thanks

    • You obviously did not listen to the writer’s words. In her words there is love and respect. They are well though out and communicated in a way that holds the readers attention. Get over the self esteem issues and move on. Just a guess, but I bet she loves her half kid more than he has ever been loved before.

    • I apologize for taking so long to respond to your original comment Bob. It is just as the second responder stated, the reference to my stepson being “half” mine is mostly to state that I claim him. Both of his natural parents are in his life and it was my way of saying that he also has a loving stepmother.

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